what is a grandmother?

cece's musings

dictionary.com’s definition of grandmother: 1. the mother of one’s father or mother 2. a female ancestor 3. a mother of someone’s parent 4. a female ancestor 5. mother of your father or mother 6. a familiar term of address for an old woman

My definition: married to your grandfather OR mother to your father; someone who has loved you since your first breath

I have been a grandmother for over thirteen years, the moment our oldest granddaughter entered the ether and I whispered, “I will always love you.” The five who followed her heard the same words.

A grandmother is an alchemy of love, hope, attention, and pride. Some are related by blood, others by marriage, and some by choice. She can live next door or across the country. One takes you to the park and another travels the world. While one grandmother bakes the best chocolate chip cookies, the other stashes Archway Windmills in a drawer. A few set house rules; others allow crazy dance parties.

We grandmothers are an eclectic lot. There are no rules. We even get to pick our names: Gigi, Granny, Nana, Oma, Grandmere, Grandma, or even CeCe. We are all grandmothering in our own original and creative ways, but what we share is the fierce love for these amazing humans who have graced us with their kisses and childhoods.

A few months ago I ran into a woman at a gathering. We chatted about grandmothering, and I lamented I lived so far away from my youngest grandson. She leaned into me and said, “My mother lived on the other side of the country, yet she made it work. She called my kids all the time. She visited once or twice a year. They knew her as their grandmother. You can do this, too.” That conversation has stuck with me. Yes, I can do this, too.

Grandmothering can be what we make it. Mine is made up of playdates, park visits, Facetimes, and plane rides. I make the effort to be present with each moment I am in their orbit, whether it is in person or on a screen. I laugh at their silly jokes, sing songs, beam with pride at their accomplishments, and hope they will grow to be full of wonder and courage and adventure.

Children can never have enough people who love them, and grandmothers, no matter the connection (blood, marriage, choice), are part of that village.

We, along with their parents, are their first love stories, and I am grateful to be a page in that book.

“Having a grandmother is like having an army. This is a grandchild’s ultimate privilege: knowing that someone is on your side, always, whatever the details.” ~Fredrik Backman

“It is as grandmothers that our mothers come into the fullness of their grace.”~Christopher Morley

“A child needs a grandparent, anybody’s grandparent, to grow a little more securely into an unfamiliar world.” ~Charles and Ann Morse

Photo by Christian Bowen on Unsplash

I will always be on their sides. I will always have their backs. I will always love them.

Always.

CeCe’s Musings is a reader-supported publication and will always be free to all who wish to read my rambling words. I also am honored and humbled if you monetarily support my writing. Thank you.