Unsearched for Moments of Awe
CeCe’s Musings
We live in an area that attracts migratory bald eagles during winter months. The confluence of rivers offers these predatory birds plenty of fish, especially if the weather is colder. When we first moved here, I was determined to search out eagles. Armed with my new binoculars, I would set out on adventures up the Mississippi hoping to spy these grand creatures. I spotted a few perched in trees, but often returned home disappointed. Back in January I took two different trips to the bird sanctuary outside of Alton and up the Great River Road. I did spot one eagle out on the ice lunching on fish, and after it flew up to a tree branch, two vultures swooped in for leftovers. It was a cool moment, but as I drove back home, I felt a little let down. Just one? After I drove an hour? That’s all I get?
A few years ago on a frigid February morning I did drive out to the bird sanctuary after reading their Facebook post that stated, “If you want to see eagles, you need to come today.” After pondering the cold, dreary weather, I bundled up and took off toward the river, and, boy, I did not regret it. There were over fifty (a modest estimate) gathered on the ice on the small bay in front of the sanctuary. I sat with my binoculars balanced on the half open car window for almost an hour. I marveled at their numbers, their size, and their incredible wingspans. Some were feasting on fish they had snatched from the icy water. Others fought with each other for prime hunting spots. A few just huddled. It was amazing. I didn’t take any photos because my iPhone wouldn’t have accurately captured the scene. That morning I felt a sense of awe that is often rare in our lives. Even when I tell the story, it does not capture the sacredness I encountered.
So much of our lives are planned. The calendars on our phones are loaded with dots indicating appointments, lunch dates, meetings, and everything that keeps us busy. Children’s practices and games. Zoom book clubs. Weekend getaways. We often don’t allow time for the sacred, the wonder. And if we see it, do we breathe it in or do we grab our phones to capture the moment without really living it?
Today I had such a moment on my morning walk. As I was turning the corner on the big lake in our neighborhood, I spotted a bald eagle on the ice. My heart rate increased as I slowly stepped down the grass incline toward the bird. Oh my goodness, I thought. Without searching, I was looking directly at an eagle. Then I glanced across the ice and spied another. Two of them! I, of course, pulled out my phone in a clumsy attempt to document the moment. Within seconds they both were airborne, skimming the ice surface and then they vanished over the horizon. Later I reflected. Why didn’t I just stand still and watch them? Why did I feel the need to get closer? Would they have flown off anyway? I’ll never know.
The next time I encounter an unsearched for moment of awe I vow to be still. No pictures. No quick texts to friends telling them about it. Just the moment and me. It may be a gorgeous late winter sunset or a grandchild climbing in my lap or a quick hummingbird visit. I promise to appreciate the glory of it all. I may tell the story later…or I may just keep it in my heart’s folder labeled “awe and grace and wonder.”
“Life is full of awe and grace and truth, mystery and wonder. I live in that atmosphere.” ~Dion DiMucci
“Always be on the lookout for the presence of wonder.” ~E.B. White
“He who can no longer pause to wonder and stand rapt in awe, is as good as dead; his eyes are closed.” ~Albert Einstein
