40 Days in Search of My Old Creative Self: Where Is She?
CeCe’s Musings: What if she's been there all along?
Do you ever feel as though you are under water? Not drowning, yet looking up at the surface, wondering if you will be able to breathe again? How do you swim up with something tugging on your feet?
What if? What if you kicked that old water troll, found a long lost burst of energy, and fought your way up?
What if? What if you began a journey to find your center, your balance, your heart?
What if? What if you started at the beginning? One blank page. One idea. One word. One sentence. One step toward discovering you aren’t really blocked, just stuck. And every letter is a path toward becoming unstuck.
What if?
I used to write all the time. The ideas flowed from my head to the words on a page. Almost everything was a prompt: a song lyric, characters on a television show, a hike through the woods, sunsets, an argument, a misunderstanding, a quote.
Now I am blank. An idea may flash, but it never gets written. I’m half full, dragging myself through the quiet, empty days.
I dream of recreating that writing life, sitting at my desk pounding out sentences. But how to get unstuck when I’ve been muddling for so long?
What if? What if I just began to write again? My bookcases are lined with writing books I have purchased. Some I’ve attempted to complete, and others haven’t even been cracked open. What if I sat down once a day, opened to a new prompt or exercise, and just wrote?
The writing doesn’t have to be good. I am convinced it will be terrible, but I’ll be writing, filling blank spaces with words.
Today is Valentine’s Day and Ash Wednesday. A day of love and a day of repentance. What if I began today? Forty days of writing, digging deep in my old, ragged heart to find what I’ve been neglecting: my creative self.
Hello, old friend. I am looking forward to meeting up with you again. I’ve missed spending my days with you.
She's there and she is amazing.